yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
