I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
