I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
