If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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