I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
