If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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