you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
