i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
