found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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