but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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