are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
