Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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