i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
