We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
