this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
