I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
