I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
