yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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