There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
