I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
