Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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