Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
