i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
