Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
