I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
