its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
