I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
