It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
