there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
