This girl is more easily done than said...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
