i already hear my dad disowning me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
