Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize