even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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