And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
