I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
