Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
