it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
