I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize