Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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