I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
