Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
