Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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