you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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