i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
