For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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