I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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