so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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