i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
