I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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