Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
