dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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