Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
