Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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