Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
