There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
