you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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