So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
