OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
