Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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