Tell her she can't have a vagina
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
