Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize