those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
