The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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