Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found puke in my bra..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
