Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
