just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
