Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
