That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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