We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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