Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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