You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
