R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
