I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize