remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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