And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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