the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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