DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
