just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
