I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
