Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
