oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
