i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
